Pickup 101 – Art of Rapport Workshop Excerpts

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The Art of Rapport session at Pickup 101 is aimed to help males enhance their day game and rapport. Pickup 101’s take on afternoon gaming is unrivaled. Nobody in the neighborhood teaches it better than these guys. It is, in my opinion, their trademark item. And their rapport instruction is strong as well, albeit I felt one crucial part of rapport was left out.

(Note: I wrote this evaluation immediately after attending the course, before becoming a Pickup 101 instructor.)

There are two primary workshops in Pickup 101. The first session is called the Art of Attraction, and it focuses on the initial three minutes of an interaction, such as banter, body language, kino (touch), and improvisational abilities.

The Art of Rapport, their second weekend session, focuses on both daytime approaches and rapport, the next level of get-to-know-you that should happen only after you’ve created attraction with the female.

That day game was mixed in with rapport training, which seemed a little haphazard at first. The reason, it turns out, is that approaching women throughout the day allows you to establish rapport with her much faster.

This is in contrast to approaching a lady at a bar late at night, where you may stroll up to her and talk with her for a few minutes before establishing rapport.

We started with rapport at the AoR (Art of Rapport workshop). They gave you some fantastic ways for improving your own narrative. Students were urged to bring a personal tale. The teachers assisted you in refining your tale to make it more meaningful. We also practiced getting to the heart of the matter when speaking with a lady. For example, if you discover where she is from, continue investigating further to uncover underlying concerns such as why she relocated from there, her family status, and her other personal motives.

We worked on several approaches to ladies during the day on the second and third days. There were many workshops run by various professors in which students practiced methods on one another. You got a sense of what it felt like to approach and be approached. Approaches included single and double ladies standing and sitting, as well as halting a lady heading in your direction.

Lance Mason is fantastic and has pioneered the finest technique to approach a lady throughout the day, in my opinion. A lady shopping alone in the supermarket is engaging in non-social behavior. Instead of engaging in meaningful conversation, she is preoccupied with the produce and what she will eat for supper next week. Pickup 101 encourages you to start by engaging her in a social environment, such as asking her what aisle a meal is in, asking for directions, or asking her what time it is.

After engaging her in a social environment, you have the option of either bantering with her (“You don’t know what aisle the scooters are in?”) or joking with her (“You don’t know what aisle the scooters are in? You’re no longer my personal shopper!”). You might perhaps be more upfront and say, “Actually, I was kidding, I simply wanted to say hello.” “Hello, my name is Eric.”

Pickup 101 is also known for pioneering the “Movie Moment” method. This is a very direct method in which they encourage their pupils to attempt to get more nervous and then harness that uneasiness to generate a strong approach. It’s as straightforward as you can get. This strategy is really effective.

The instructors brought the students out into the field to approach ladies on Saturday and Sunday of the course. I approached perhaps 40 groups of ladies. I had significant conversations with roughly 20 of them and exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers with seven of them. I had a “instant date” with a really attractive girl who invited me out for coffee. I was astounded by how easy and responsive ladies were, especially when contrasted to performing approaches at night, when it appears that women are quickly bored by so many males approaching them.

Two ladies I approached utilizing the Pickup 101 method told me, “That was quite smooth the way you walked up to me.” After I utilized a direct approach of opening, another woman exclaimed, ‘Wow, that was ballsy.’

I ended the day with this gorgeous redhead artist girl at Union Square Park. It was pouring, so she welcomed me beneath her umbrella and showed me the drawings she was working on. We began looking for rainbows when the sun began to shine through the rain at the end of our talk. It’s rather romantic.

Lance Mason, the Pickup 101’s chief guru, has some mind-boggling notions, and there’s a reason why they call him “sensei.” He distinguishes between direct and indirect approaches as follows:

direct = honest and passionate

indirect = amusing and flirtatious

Direct, he believes, should be used in quieter contexts, such as during the day, when there is less’social noise’ to contend with. Just having the guts to approach her will pique her interest. Indirect is better suited for busy circumstances where it may take longer to develop attention.

In terms of rapport, he describes it as a guy overcoming significant difficulties to find such unique qualities in a woman that he decides to expose himself to her.

These are some big ideas to consider, but they’re also some great ways to frame learning about approach and rapport.

Pickup 101 fell short in one regard, in my opinion: teaching rapport. During an open conversation, I questioned, “At what stage in the rapport process would you want to kiss a girl?” In my opinion, the solution to this issue is not trivial.

While they did address the issue in some ways, they also passed up a significant opportunity to highlight something that other community gurus teach.

My question was answered a week later while listening to a Juggler podcast. “When you’re standing in a bar with a girl you’ve just approached, when do you ask her to go sit alone with you and talk more?” When do you express interest? When do you express your interest in her? When do you say, “We should go out on a date.”? “When do you decide to escalate the interaction?”

The best time to escalate with a woman is when the conversation is at its peak. But not at the high point when she laughs at one of your jokes or expresses interest in you or what you’re saying. The high point to escalate is when she reveals personal information about herself, demonstrating her worth.

If you were introduced to another guy through a friend and then said “wow, you’re pretty cool,” the guy would be a little freaked out.

However, if you talked for a while and he revealed something personal about himself, such as the fact that he races motorcycles, and you said “wow, you’re pretty cool,” it would be interpreted very differently.

This is referred to as bait-hook-release by Mystery. If a girl expresses an interest in you, for example, by complimenting you, this is not the time to compliment her.

You should entice her to reveal something personal about herself before complimenting her. The release section shows some disinterest right after the interest to relieve her of the pressure of being hit on.

“Seriously? You’re a filmmaker, right? No way!! That’s fantastic. I can’t even talk to you right now.”

This is what I was looking for when it came to building rapport with women. Even though I’m good at getting to know people, my rapport had somewhat stalled.

While I believe Pickup 101’s rapport-building lessons were extremely beneficial in many ways, I believe they fell a little short in this escalation process.

Overall, the weekend was well worth it. The guys in Pickup 101 are incredibly cool and have a non-creepy vibe. They are the most similar to the type of pickup artist I aspire to be. I don’t want to be a nocturnal club-going dandy who manipulates high-on-drugs ditzes into one-night stands. I aspire to be a strong and developed individual with my own style who can approach and escalate interactions with any woman, anywhere.

Aside from the guru Lance Mason, there are three instructors at Pickup 101 who I consider to be superstars. Sean, with whom I collaborated on Art of Attraction, has some brilliant insights and runs an incredible forum. I can’t believe how quickly he responds to each and every post. His responsiveness and incredible insight convinced me to sign up for Art of Attraction, which was a big step for someone who had never attended a workshop before.

Daniel is another superstar. He can control the frame, be funny, and still tell the most amazing, heartwarming stories. Daniel’s coaching is excellent, and signing up for the Art of Rapport includes three months of coaching calls. He is a genuine PUA.

Dennis is also someone I admire. He has great form and understands how to gently push and work with men. I noticed a girl walking by outside while we were eating pizza.

He notices and instructs me to approach her. I noticed she was on the phone half a block away. I returned and said she was on the phone. He told me to open anyway. I chase her down and finally catch her about 8 blocks later with a direct opener. I eventually got the girl’s phone number. Dennis wields enormous power.

The Pickup 101 crew will not let you down, especially if you want to improve your pickup skills in everyday life. They come highly recommended by me.

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