Chael Sonnen – The Voice of Reason A VIP Pass to Enlightenment

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The book you’re thinking about buying is nothing less than a VIP Pass to Enlightenment, written by the UFC’s most famed and feared destroyer of men—Chael P.Sonnen.
Backwoodsmen and uneducated people refer to him as the Walking Thesaurus.
His contemporaries have conferred the title Sir Sonnen upon him.
Those who live in the lost, lonesome forests south of the equator respect him as filho da puta, a phrase Sonnen himself translated using his linguistic expertise.
It simply means “the Great and Humble Bearer of Knowledge.” Sonnen’s comments and epic adventure stories on the following pages will introduce you to the world of superhuman brilliance.
Allow him to take you through the world of professional mixed martial arts like a weak damsel as he loses weight, struggles with idiotic cornermen, shows his dislike for focus mitts and punching in general, has his face reshaped, and finds love and encouragement from fans.
Allow him to cleanse your palate by teaching you the truth about history, politics, endangered species, film, terrorism, music, particle accelerators, and his ambitions to establish a Chaelocracy, which translates as “a Better Earth.” Praise him as he takes you into his muscular paws like a lump of clay and reshapes you in his own image.
Sonnen, like other heroes of myth and legend, aspires for the benefit of humanity.
Dana White brought us the modern-day gladiator, and Chael P. Sonnen now provides us the step-by-step instruction to being a wonderful human being and patriot.
Purchase this book to understand how the world truly works from the perspective of a guy who has met presidents, wardens, dignitaries, judges, kings and queens, and athletic commissions, and to determine whether you have what it takes to awaken from your progressive nightmare.
There is no better day than today to quit being yourself and start striving to be someone else. Sonnen, Chael P.
The Voice of Reason’s time has arrived.
Chael Sonnen is the greatest trash-talker in sports.
—James Rome The Jim Rome Show’s host It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen.
He’s the finest thing to happen since Muhammad Ali. —UFC President Dana White PS.
This book contains no money laundering schemes.
PPS.
This handbook will not teach you how to cope with a triangle choke.

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