Katrina Ruth Programs – Fuck This Shit

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“Fuck this nonsense, I’m done. I’m not even concerned about how. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about the specifics.

This.

changes.

NOW.”

It was 2013, and I’d just finished the scariest year of my life.

Consider how frightening it is to lose enormous volumes of blood from my vagina without notice.

It was terrifying to be informed I needed a hysterectomy and potentially bladder removal.

Sitting down with a slew of physicians and specialists at 26 weeks pregnant (a few weeks into all the craziness aka random acute hemorrhaging) and discussing what it would mean if I made it this many weeks… nay, this many weeks… How about that many terrifying things?

Hearing that, while there was no real danger to my kid (save for very early birthing, duh), my illness put me at risk of dying following child loss. Because of all the blood loss that may occur, and how quickly it would go if it did, and how they couldn’t replenish it quickly enough. That’s terrifying.

Coupled with living in the hospital on and off for the most of the period after it all started, while attempting to manage my then 3-year-old daughter and… operate and build a business on its way to a million dollars a year.

Wanna know the worst thing, or at least what felt the worst during all of this, since I managed to compartmentalize and emotionally detach myself from all of the above while focusing on manifesting like a MOTHERFUCKER…

The worst part was the sales calls and webinars!!

Every day, I’d sit in my hospital bed, strapped to all the straps and traps (baby monitoring! ), and make sales calls.

I’d host webinars from the hospital cafeteria every few days.

I once ran one while getting a cervical scan. That’s the one where they shove the wozit up your a$$. AND there were around ten men in the room, all of them were curious by my unusual and unusual circumstance.

(Of course, I don’t mean my vagina is a work of mystery and beauty, and unusual among diamonds… I’m referring to an unusual condition I had:))

Let me tell you anything –

When your ‘home’ is a hospital and you get cervical scans every other day, you soon stop caring if you’re in the middle of a webinar or not, and you simply keep going. When your legs are extended and in the air, a laptop rests beautifully on a pregnant abdomen!

In any case, that was a difficult year. I believe you grasp the image, perhaps too well. Haha.

I had my biggest month ever at the time (72k, cash received – I always ever talk about cash received, not predicted, incidentally), and that felt amazing, but god.

I was running on fumes. Slowly but steadily, the push began to seem out of place. And I was thinking –

Was it really necessary to have things this way?

Perhaps you are familiar with the sensation.

Looking back, I’m so grateful for that moment, for all that led up to it, and even for the hospital bed bustle.

It rescued me by keeping me focused and purposeful so I didn’t worry about all the awful stuff, but it also served a function well beyond that –

It pushed me over the edge.

You know, a ‘enough is enough’ point?

A point of no return, which I ultimately had to admit –

This does not work for me.

I can’t go on like this.

Yes, my earnings are amazing… and I’m on my path to being a millionaire… But, my SOUL, at what cost?

I don’t have to tell you that there are moments in life when we are dealt a hand of cards that effectively throws us up against a wall and forces us to NO LONGER BE ABLE TO AVOID HONOURING OUR TRUTH.

In that hospital, after weeks and weeks of writing, blogging, profound prayer, and manifestation work centered on delivering a healthy baby and NOT DIEING, I gradually but steadily arrived at a conclusion I had always knew would come.

Fuck.

This.

Shit.

I was finished.

I’m done making money by not following my soul.

I’m tired of working so hard for every dime.

Done with the ONLY push method to hustling, with being’successful’ because I worked harder and longer than everyone else, and because I damn well pulled the rope in hand over fist regardless of how bloodied and ripped my hands grew in the process.

I was done with believing that I had to do business – or life! – in a way that DID NOT FEEL LIKE FUCK YES.

What we shall do: Whatever it takes.
What to expect: Exactly what you require. With the bells on.
What happened? Do you require any other information? Weird… LOL. Okay, then!

(As a side aside, some of you probably don’t need any more information because you already know. That is also acceptable! (Scroll down!)

What the hell is this nonsense?

It’s a movement, a calling, a cold fish smack in the face, a bucket of cold freezing water thrown STRAIGHT at you when you just got your hair done, and ALL the oily-bulletproof coffee required up your ass so the stuff can come OUT.

What shit?

The nonsense you’ve been telling yourself.

“Oh, yes, if I just keep hauling this here ole pile up the hill, it’ll SURELY stop stinking soon enough, and SURELY the view and rewards will be numerous and great at the top?”

You.

Idiot!

Let’s be clear about something:

– Following your soul does not imply ignoring the tasks you know you must complete.

– Flow isn’t always pleasant.

– And no, rambling on and on about how you’re going to materialize it isn’t going to get you anywhere!!

What we are here to accomplish, what it is TIME to do, what we MUST and WILL DO NOW, is simple:

We’re going to summon the power of the FUCK.

THIS.

SHIT. power.

You’ve witnessed it.

You are aware that it exists.

It is NOW AVAILABLE.

And now it’s time for you to go collect yours.

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