Loving Bravely – Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want

“What a fascinating investigation into the language of intimacy, relationships, and love!” This profoundly insightful book will introduce you to the essential components of an intimate relationship: self-love, self-worth, and self-awareness. I definitely suggest this book to everyone who wants to engage in life and love with confidence!”
—New York Times bestselling author and psychologist Shefali Tsabary, PhD
“As modern dating becomes more and more limited to a narrow set of internet search algorithms, Alexandra H. Solomon correctly advises readers to switch off the noise, tune into our real selves, and create a deeper sense of relational self-awareness.”
Loving Bravely will show you how to live and love in ways that are authentic to your unique, multifaceted self, rather than simply swiping left or right or scrolling up and down.”
—Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, best-selling author of She Comes First
“Alexandra H. Solomon has created the finest book on building, growing, and maintaining relationships ever published.”
Loving Bravely is a one-of-a-kind book on relationships. First, it is grounded on scientific understanding regarding relationships while being engaging and fascinating. Second, it addresses challenges facing young and middle-aged persons in relationships in the twenty-first century. And it focuses mostly on what individuals can do to cultivate relationships. This is the handbook for everyone who wishes to cultivate and maintain a satisfying relationship.”
—Jay Lebow, PhD, ABPP, clinical professor at Northwestern University’s Family Institute and editor of Family Process
“This is a fantastic book that sets out the way to having a stronger love connection with others by first having a healthier love relationship with yourself.” This book, written in an interesting style and full of practical exercises, is a lifesaver for those looking for, but struggling to find, real love in their lives.”
—Kristin Neff, PhD, author of Self-Compassion and associate professor in the department of educational psychology at The University of Texas at Austin
“We all want to fall in love or be in love.” However, as Alexandra H. Solomon convincingly shows, most of us spend more time learning to drive than learning to love. Solomon, who is both clear-eyed and empathetic, gives step-by-step instructions on how to develop the skills needed to enhance any relationship—even a good one—deeper, more gratifying, and more intimate. Loving Bravely should is mandatory reading for anybody in an intimate relationship, as well as anyone who wishes to be in one. “Are you willing to invest in love?” Solomon asks.
—Elsa Walsh, best-selling author of Divided Lives and former staff writer for The New Yorker and The Washington Post
“Psychologist Solomon, a clinical professor in Northwestern University’s department of psychology, leads readers down the path of self-discovery, arguing that relational self-awareness is the key to close partnerships. The book is divided into four sections: self-reflection, self-awareness, self-expression, and self-expansion. It is based on Solomon’s undergraduate course, ‘Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101.’ She doesn’t preach that love is perfect—”core issues will get stirred up again and again in intimate relationships”—but instead guides readers through 20 lessons and sets of exercises in which they learn to explore and create healthy boundaries, listen to their gut instincts, and forgive themselves and others. The book’s tone is uplifting and sympathetic, and its teachings are timeless.”
—From Publishers Weekly
“Alexandra H. Solomon’s Loving Bravely is an excellent resource for anybody contemplating or in the midst of an intimate relationship.” This book draws on Solomon’s twenty-year experience researching couples, treating couples, immersing herself in couples therapy literature, and, finally, being partnered. Solomon has lived and breathed personal relationships, first as a graduate student, then as a psychologist and professor at Northwestern University; as a therapist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University; and as a wife. Nobody understands this region better from the inside or the outside. This book’s advice is centered on the principle of ‘know yourself first, repair thyself first, face thyself first.’ Long-term love entails cultivating the confidence to confront yourself and your spouse with honesty, integrity, and compassion. Loving Bravely gives you the keys to being a better relationship and person, not to mending or changing your spouse. I suggest this book to anybody who aspires to be a better lover in the most genuine and profound sense.”
—Bill Pinsof, PhD, LMFT, ABPP, founder, CEO, and clinical professor at Northwestern University’s The Family Institute from 1986 to 2016; and president of Pinsof Family Systems
“Alexandra H. Solomon has published a clear-eyed, practical handbook on how to love.”
Loving Bravely includes everything from shifting beyond your own response to offering a meaningful apology. Years of therapeutic expertise show through in this book, which I would suggest to anybody who wants to love properly.”
—Terry Real, Massachusetts-based Relational Life Institute founder and author of The New Rules of Marriage
“Alexandra H. Solomon has written a delightfully relevant, motivating, and practical book that guides the reader through the steps toward fearless, intimate love.” From start to finish, her language generates a sense of safety and warmth as she urges readers to lean into vulnerability and connect with themselves in order to connect more profoundly with others. Loving Bravely is an absolute must-read for everyone looking to create full and gratifying love while also altering their relationships!”
—Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy in New York, NY, and Motherly relationship expert